I'm female (*gasps*), 20, Jewish, one third of a spaghetti, as well as the other half of that other team. Some of the things that I enjoy include: Doctor Who, Supernatural, Sherlock, Lord of the Rings, Star Trek, and maaaany others. :D

I am also in the midst of discovering/dealing with my Depression, so Trigger warning!

I love everyone in this car.

10th April 2014

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Soooooooooooooooooo today

Today, I woke up earlier than usual so I could shower and stuff without rushing and then I got to work just on time :D

I got straight to work, and was busy until about 11, after which it sorta slowed down for a bit. But then it got exciting after 2 until 6:30… And technically I work until 5:30.

Okay, but let’s talk about the drama things. 


Basically I have told all of my siblings about my moving out. And then the brother who’s just over the one over me decided to be a jerk… idek I’m not going to go into that, because that’s from sunday… But yesterday I told my old High School principal about everything (yeah, I have my issues with him because he was a Jerk to certain two other people that I care about and also made me feel like shit one major time… But he was the only person I was able to think of to go for advice.)… Anyway, I got a Rabbi to sell my Chometz to.

Now here’s what’s happened today…

I called my father to help me either sell my chometz to his Rabbi or help me find a Rabbi of my own, and he seriously brushed me off. Just… I don’t even think he realized how much it hurt me, you know? I asked him to help, and he said “It would be awkward”…

Which… what?

Anyway, that was one thing… 

Then, I also went ahead and called my brother (who lives out of town), because after I told him, he apparently called my mother.

I know this because my mother called me in a bit of a huff because, and I quote, “He thinks you left because I yell at you!” 

When she called me up about that, I immediately told her that it wasn’t that (dude, do you know how much the fact that she thinks I love her is protecting me?)

But anyway, I went ahead and called him up today, and he told me what had happened. 

Basically, he told me that he called her up because he had been asking where I am for a long while, so he just wanted to tell her “hey, I know where she is now.” And… she got mad at him, yelling about how I left because of my father… And then she said “If you ever dare talk to her again, I’ll fly over to (state that he lives in) and break every bone in your body!” To which he said “That’s why she left!” 

So yeah.

I pretty much freaked out when my brother said that… I can’t believe that I’m the reason my mother threatened him like that. I feel awful!

But yeah, after that, I called my brother who is a jerk to me and told him that I’m making an appointment with a Rabbi (because he was Jerk about me not having one)

But anyway, he was a jerk about my choice of rabbi.

And he said that said principal from High School apparently /knew/ about what was going on in my house, and said that he’d keep an eye on me! 

idek

cuz he didn’t

I mean, not from my perspective!

I only know that I tended to get along with him

for all I know, the only reason he was nice to me was because my brother got involved…

idek

so yeah, after that I excused myself to the ladies room and cried for a fair bit… then got back to work

Then I went to take a walk to calm down and went into my car to scream on top of my lungs… and yeah, it made me feel a bit better. 

Anyway, I went back to the office, and then…

Well, one of the guys I kinda respect got into an argument with someone, and he said that he thinks the other guy is going to key his car, and that guy said “I’d do more than that to you” To which he said “Come back and say that to my face!” anyway, they were yelling and saying they were going to call the police and I had to run out of the room because it was waaaaaaaaaaaay too much like my house. 

One of the guys in the office laughed as I hurried past him, saying I didn’t need to leave the room. He thought I was afraid of them hurting each other, but the fact of the matter is I wasn’t worried about that, I was just… remembering things. 

So I cried in the bathroom twice. 

But yeah, then I stayed late at work and it was all good… 

I was supposed to go to supper with my mother, but thankfully I got late at work (it was probably an unconscious thing of my willing to stay at work… Not so unconscious though lol))

After work, I went home and picked up something from home, but then I kinda ran out…

Point being I went to the pharmacy and refilled my prescription for my antidepressant, which I’m going to pick up tomorrow…. It’s a different one than I got last month because it’s issues with Pesach things…. 

But yeah, after that i went to the Rabbi and met with him and set up the selling the chometz thing… Which worked really well and I’m going to be meeting with him again after Pesach to discuss the living situation.

Yeah

I’m happy

Even though I had a slight bit of urges today, and thought about suicide once, I see today as having been a good day.

I was able to be distracted from the negatives by the work I was doing. 

Anyway, I’ve been writing this up for almost an hour and I’m going to finish making my supper and eat so I can go to bed before midnight. 

Tagged: journal

10th April 2014

Post with 3 notes

This is a quick little update just because I haven’t been on in weeks…

Life is amazing.

I’m on antidepressants and living in my own apartment.

Of course there are bad days (like today), but I’ve never been happier.

I’ve become self-sufficient, and actually social.

I love my coworkers and I love my job.

It’s just…. Good.

((If I don’t fall asleep before 10:30, I’ll try and actually write about why today was a bad day))

Tagged: journal

10th April 2014

Post reblogged from Don't you worry. Everyting will be okay. with 60,946 notes

fortylinestare:

someone made a really good point in the commentary of a post once which basically boiled down to the fact that james and lily’s patronuses are complements of each other (stag / doe) as opposed to snape and lily’s (doe / doe) which just goes to show how love and obsession are not the same thing at all thank u for ur time

Source: fortylinestare

10th April 2014

Post reblogged from Me? with 169,119 notes

defilerwyrm:

that one person you never really talk to but you reblog the shit outta each other

image

Source: defilerwyrm

10th April 2014

Photoset reblogged from A Compilation of Things I Obsess Over with 186,373 notes

fellowship-of-the-wholockians:

sherlock-deduction:

leonardo-dicaprisun:

a good display of the two types of people in Britain

oh my god martin

if looks could kill that chav would’ve been dead 5 years ago

Tagged: martin freemanperfect people

Source: veirdessa

31st March 2014

Post reblogged from Where I can try to be myself with 114,257 notes

thatstheriddle:

sherokutakari:

deanbelievesinwholockholmes:

bennydict:

EVERYONE who reblogs this will be insulted in Shakespearean fashion.

I am so looking forward to this …

I GOT MINE BEING INSULTED HAS MADE MY NIGHT

EVERYONE

SHES NOT JOKING

Source: bennydict

27th March 2014

Post with 1 note

My mother keeps pushing to have lunch with me and i really really really don’t want to see her, tbh.

I just feel like a horrible daughter

Tagged: journalmother

27th March 2014

Post reblogged from misha-is-da-best with 76,127 notes

thegestianpoet:

"YOU SICK BASTARD" I shout

Jon Snow starts to cry. He has been fighting off this flu for a week and has been eating lots of citrus. He’s doing his best. 

Tagged: XDGOTGame of Thrones

Source: thegestianpoet

27th March 2014

Photo reblogged from אין כנרים פה with 260,459 notes

funniestpicturesdaily:

Not the time for a dad joke.

funniestpicturesdaily:

Not the time for a dad joke.

Tagged: XD

Source: funniestpicturesdaily

27th March 2014

Post

Oh, and I asked him explicitly if it was something sexual (because I’ve always been kinda freaked out that I repressed memories of sexual abuse… I’ve been thinking that since I was in 5th grade basically)… And thankfully he said no. 

But idk what else can be worse than my mother hurting me like she did. 

Tagged: journalmothermemories and shit